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The Best Relationship Questions to Ask At Every Stage

July 31, 2024
Brea Threatt

Whether you're planning your first date, starting a new relationship, or years into a long-term relationship, there's always something new to learn about your significant other. Asking each other some fun, romantic, and thought-provoking questions can be a great chance to spark up your love life and understand each other on a deeper level.

Not only can asking questions help you get to know someone better - especially in the early stages of getting to know someone - they can also help you uncover potential conflict points, differing opinions on important topics, and help you spot some dealbreakers or even major relationship red flags.

We have selected 50 relationship questions and conversations starters anyone can use at any phase of their relationship. While a majority of these relationship questions are meant to bring you closer and build a stronger connection, some of these relationship questions might identify those boundaries or conflicitng opinions - so make sure you're ready for their honest answers when you ask.

Getting to know you relationship questions

These are more early dating conversation starters that can be used as first date questions or conversation ice breakers on a dating app. While they are seemingly very fun - they can also reveal a lot about someone.

  • Are you a spontaneous person or more of a planning person?
  • What is the most important thing to do on your bucket list?
  • Where did you grow up, and what’s your favorite memory in your hometown?
  • What is one misconception people might have about you?
  • If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?
  • Do you think there's such a thing as "luck," or do we create our own outcomes?
  • What's the worst job you've ever worked?
  • How do you feel in crowds?
  • What do you consider to be your greatest success?

New relationship questions

These questions are a more playful take on the getting to know you relationship questions. They also help you understand someone and how they may align with your less serious but still common desires (like if you are more of a takeout person and they like cooking!).

  • What's your love language?
  • Do you enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day?
  • What is the best present you’ve ever received?
  • Do you prefer eating out, or cooking at home?
  • What was your first impression of me?
  • How close are you with your family members?
  • Are you still close with your best friend from childhood??
  • Do you prefer expensive gifts or sentimental gifts?
  • Is it important to set aside time and budget for date nights and travel?

Fun relationship questions

These questions keep it light and can be useful whether you're just getting to know someone or even years into a relationship. Chances are you might not know their dream job as a kid or their favorite joke.

  • Who was your first celebrity crush?
  • What is your favorite color on me?
  • What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?
  • If you could only choose one meal to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • If money didn’t matter, what would you do with your time?
  • Do you have any odd quirks?
  • Do you have a favorite comedian or actor?
  • What was your dream job when you were a kid?
  • What would be your idea of a fun date?
  • What would you do if you won $1,000,000 right now?
  • Do you have a favorite joke?

Define the relationship questions

Before you fully commit to someone, these can be good questions to ask so you can ensure both of you are on the same page. While most people want a romantic partner - a romantic partner that aligns with your desires and goals is what is ultimately most important to the long-term success and healthiness of the relationship. We have another blog covering everything you need to know about having the define the relationship talk with someone.

  • Am I a good potential fit for your future?
  • What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • Have your feelings for me deepened over time?
  • What type of relationship do you want? (more relevant for polyamorous, open, or other other types of relationship styles) 
  • What are your biggest deal breakers in a relationship?
  • How have I changed since you’ve met me?
  • Is it possible to have a healthy long-distance relationship?
  • How important is it for us to post each other on social media?
  • Do you see yourself having kids? If so, how many?

Relationship building questions

Relationships will go through ups and downs - being able to talk openly and honestly about the good and the bad is a good sign of a healthy relationship. These questions can help you build a stronger connection or help recover after one of the downs by showing genuine care and desire to know all parts of the other person.

  • What are your favorite parts about my personality? What are your least favorite?
  • When you’re having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
  • What was your favorite place to go as a child and why did you love it?
  • What are the three things you can't live without?
  • If you are having a bad day, would you prefer to be with someone or left alone?
  • Do you think it’s better to live together before getting engaged/married?
  • Do you have a sexual fantasy you've never shared with me before?
  • What is your biggest fear? How do you plan to overcome it?

Tough relationship questions

If you can't be real with your partner and have hard conversations - they might not be a real authentic partner to you - they may just want the good parts of you... and that's not really fair. These tough relationship questions are good to ask in moments of trying to understand if the person wants all of you and if they're willing to be open about their past.

  • Is there anything you regret doing (or not doing) in a past relationship?
  • If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • When was the last time someone made you cry?
  • Can you describe what your worst break up was like?
  • What are the most confusing parts of my personality?
  • Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be and why?
  • What would you do if you don’t have enough romance in your relationship?
  • Have you ever felt jealous of your partner? Why?

Are you in a Healthy Relationship? That's the most important relationship question.

No matter how much you think you know, there's always something new to learn about your significant other. Communication is one of the most important relationship skills to strengthen your relationship, and asking the right questions will open the door to those meaningful conversations and build more chemistry with your partner. While horoscopes can be a useful tool for understanding your significant other's personality and compatibility, nothing beats actually spending time with each other and showing transparency by answering deep questions.

If you want to learn more about the state of your current relationship, you can take our healthy relationship quiz.

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